Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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