the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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