Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
