I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
