They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Rumble strips road head = magical
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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