And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i think my cat just said my name.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize