hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
