? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
