the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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