I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
