Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize