I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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