They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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