Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
