maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
