We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
