What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
