btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my shit smells like andre
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
