The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize