once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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