I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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