Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
