That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
