Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
