we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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