Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
