It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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