i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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