I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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