You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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