Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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