Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
