thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
