I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize