it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
