Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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