I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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