well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
