YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
