I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize