It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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