Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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