the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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