He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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