Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
