Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize