Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
