I must be too annoying 4 u.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
