told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
