remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I want to have your abortion
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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