so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
