I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
