I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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