Screwed.edu
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
