I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
