Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
