i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
