I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize