Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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