"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
