Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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