My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
