How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
