No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
