My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize