how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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