yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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